Jimmy Barclay: (talking to his baby brother) Anyway, Stewart, as I was saying, the key thing to remember is that the one way to keep 'em happy is to just feed them. Now they eat a lot more than you think. And they like to think that they're your master. You know, that their the boss. Just let them think that--it doesn't hurt anything. One tough thing is getting used to the way they smell, but that just takes time. Well, anyways, that's my advice on girls.
- H Tide

Jimmy: Hey, Mom, the baby spoke! He said the
word—get this—carrot.
Mary: Carrot?
Jimmy: He did! I heard him! His first word was, "carrot." Where's the baby book?
Mary: He was just jibbering. Why would he say
carrot?
Jimmy: Maybe he likes them.
(Stewart starts crying)
Mary: Oh, would you go change his diaper?
Jimmy: He doesn't want to be changed. He
wants a carrot!
Mary: Trust me on this one, Jimmy.
Jimmy: Alright, but what do you want me to do if he starts listing off any more vegetables?
Mary: Write them down. We'll go shopping later.
- H Tide